Missionary Myths

Four years ago, I took a break from college and moved to New England. And by 'break', I mean every day for 18 months I woke up early, studied for 2 hours, and came home after 11+ hours of door knocking, teaching, and community service.Turns out, religion is not the most comfortable topic to bring up with perfect strangers. I didn't have the 'results' that a lot of other missionaries have, but it was bar none the most rewarding and defining experience of my life.

   

Since I've come home, there's a Mormon running for president, billboards across the country plugging mormon.org, and even a broadway about LDS missionaries. With all this media attention the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (yep, it's a mouthful - let's go with LDS) is receiving, I'll take a stab (a really small one, maybe more of a paper cut) at some of the misconceptions I've heard about LDS missionaries. [if you want to know more about actual beliefs go to www.mormon.org]

Myth: Only boys go on missions.

Well, guess what?

Girls can go, too. There are 55,000+ LDS missionaries worldwide, and I'd say 10% are women. Guys generally go when they turn 19 and serve for 2 years, while girls go when they are 21 for 18 months. It's more expected of a guy to go, but I was never discouraged from any Church leaders.

Myth:  You can watch TV and call your family on your "day off".

Well, guess what?

I had to wait a full year to see High School Musical 3 and only talked to my parents 3 times over 18 months.

Myth: Missionary efforts are focused primarily on developing countries.

Well, guess what?

New York State isn't exactly a developing country. I've found it more difficult to 'justify' my mission to people when (1) I didn't serve in an exotic country and (2) I didn't build houses for 18 months. But you should know that the primary purpose of LDS missionary work worldwide is proselytizing. Yes, we did community service each week, but our main job was to teach people about Jesus Christ and our Church's beliefs.

Myth: The dress standard for sister missionaries is to look as homely and genderless as humanly possible.

Well, guess what?

Just because I looked like a granny in my oatmeal Tuesday-night-Bingo skirt during my mission, doesn't mean everyone else did. Sisters are encouraged to wear bright colors and makeup. The fact that I usually wore sweat pants under my skirts probably didn't help our image.

Myth: You get to pick where you go on your mission.

Well, guess what?

You don't. Your application (called 'mission papers') is sent to a council who will assign you to one of 340 missions throughout the world. It's certainly not a draw-a-name-from-a-hat process and involves a lot of prayer and deliberation to issue your mission call.  

Myth: All missionaries are white farm boys from Utah or Idaho.

Well, ok. This one is almost true.*

Myth: Since you are a "full-time" representative of the Church, it subsidizes your mission.

Well, guess what?

It doesn't. You pay for your own mission, though the Church may help you out if you can't afford it. Compared to being a college student, a mission is actually quite affordable.

Myth: All LDS men are REQUIRED to serve a mission.

Well, guess what?

Jimmer didn't, and neither did Bryce Harper. But Ken Jennings did, and so did Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder). So who's more righteous? Again, it's strongly encouraged for young men to serve, but ultimately it's a personal decision.

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*Ok, let's get real: there are thousands of non-American missionaries throughout the world--we just don't see them as much because they are often called to serve in missions within or around their native country.  

Ode to Mormon Mommy Blogs

This one's for you, Mormon-Mommy bloggers. Your ability to pull off skinny jeans in the same month you gave birth is inspiring. I know it was a splurge, but the size 0-3 mos Sperrys were so worth it. For a minute we thought Aiden wasn't going to finish potty training . . . but luckily you had a follow-up post. Thank you hip-Mommy bloggers, for making the world a more bubbly place - one post at a time.

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This week I put my wannabe-hip-mommy blogging skills to the test during a trip to my hometown. With Canada Day and the 100th Calgary Stampede book-ending my stay, I had a lot of opportunities to snap totes adorbs shots of my nieces/nephews, bake, and do some serious nail-painting.

How to Have a Mormon-Mommy Blog

Step 1:  Have adorable kids.
If your kids aren't Target-catalog material, you might consider a different hobby.

Step 2: Always wear lipstick.
Exercise in it. Sleep in it. You have no idea when a good photo op is going to happen, and you want to be ready.

Step 3: Bake things that look like other things.

Step 4: Match with your kids.

Step 5: Don't forget hubby.
But don't include so much of him that people think he's the star of the show, here.

Step 6: Take pictures of everything you eat.
...especially if it has quinoa. Or goat cheese.

Stampede Pancake Breakfast was kind of a bust

 Step 7: Nails. Nails. Nails.

4th of July nails for Mya's birthday. And America's

Grandma Terry likes to paint nails too

Step 8: Treat everyday as it were a fashion-show day, because surely it is.

Almost all of the clothes in our photo shoot are mine. NBD.

Other pics from the trip that weren't hip enough to be mommy-blog material:
 

The LDS Calgary temple under construction...!!



Calaway Park was a lot smaller than I remembered it



My bestie of 25 years (minus 2 weeks) and her fam

"There's a feeling in the air that you can't get anywhere, except in Calgary..."

The Boy Who Believed in Dinosaurs

This is Eddie--Dr. Eddie if you will. Unlike dear Lauren, Eddie is a believer. We've been friends since high school, and when I went and did the whole BYU/mission thing he went and did the whole UT/Africa thing. I even have a medal to prove what good friends we are, and he has about 3 unread copies of the Book of Mormon to prove it, too.

Sometimes, when Eddie is not delivering babies in Africa or instagramming his trips to the CrossFit gym, he goes to visit his friends across the country. We ate burgers, listened to jazz music, ate burgers, monument hopped, and finished the weekend eating more burgers.

Met the presidents at the Nats game with Dino Girl



Have you ever wondered where the Nats got their logo? Walgreens.






All Eddie wanted to do was see the space shuttle. And I took him to the wrong Air & Space museum. #rookiemistake #atleasttheSR71wascool




Twinners at the Art of Video Games exhibit (National Portrait Gallery). All boys within 50 miles of DC should go.



Blast from the past playing old school games at the exhibit

For my living room

Ford's Theater, again. If you come visit me in DC, I will more than likely bring you here.



Vietnam Memorial





There's a hidden Kilroy on the WWII memorial!

Must do on the DC trip list: see the monuments at night.

Three cheers for the three awkward poses in this picture

Roomie love

Jefferson

Pentagon 9/11 Memorial - one of the best in DC

   

The Girl Who Didn't Believe in Dinosaurs

Once upon a time, there lived a girl who didn't believe in dinosaurs.

Don't let that master's degree fool you - she doesn't know what she's talking about

She'll tell you it's a big hoax put on by a bunch of scientists who buried "bones" all over and told everyone giant lizards used to rule the world.

The basis for her reasoning? A childhood camping trip and an unexpected frosty night. Not surprisingly, her toes didn't last long in those cotton Lisa Frank socks, and it wasn't long before her size-3 feet turned into size-3 ice blocks. Her family (in their cozy wool socks) slept like babies while Lauren spent the night gnawing on her knees in the fetal position. The next day, the family hiked around some prehistoric sites. I'm sure that the trauma induced from the previous night's freeze fest had nothing to do with the fact that when she saw some fossilized dino footprints, her response was "yeah right...there is no way those things are real."

And that's it.

That's why she doesn't believe.

Now, if you are a University of Calgary alum (like both my parents), you'll probably have a bone to pick with anyone who doesn't believe in your school's mascot, but we won't get into that right now.

Really though, can you imagine a world without this guy?


No way LBT would've had enough content to make it past the first sequel if dinos were phony.


Or this family?

What is not believable about a dinosaur in a diaper?

And how would the toys have ever saved Woody if it weren't for Rex?


The most ironic part of all? Guess her driver of choice in Mario Kart. . .

I'll give you a hint: He's green and he isn't Mario's brother.

You don't need to see the Smithsonian's T-Rex to know that dinosaurs are real.It's just something you feel in your heart.

Believe.