As Seen in DC

Some recent happenings in my life:



Top: National Cathedral, Hall of the State Prayers (they even pray for Texas)

Bottom: Chowing down on Obama Burgers at the new Good Stuff Eatery in Crystal City. Liberal on the cheese, please.



Top: Just some acrobats trapezing off the US Postal Building.

Bottom: Livin' on a prayer (and huge hair) at the Legwarmers' 80's tribute concert!

 Check out this talent! I haven't figured out the whole video-editing thing yet, so forgive the shotty camera job.



 Once a year, they allow public access to Embassy Row, so you can claim you visited 8 countries in one day.  Clockwise from upper-left: Latvia, Washington Islamic Center, The Netherlands, England, Greece.

Three cheers for visitors! Clockwise from upper-left: Saw the broadway 1776 [yep, again] at Ford's Theater; John Wilkes Booth's gun that shot Abraham Lincoln; 'VIP' access to the senators' reading room at the Library of Congress; and Eastern Market is one of my favorite DC spots, if you mustache.

 

I was lucky to go to a beautiful wedding in Providence, RI. The reception was at a sea-side mansion. Fairy tale much?



10 Things to Avoid in Dating (or, Why I'm Still Single)

Now Seeking:

Risky blog topic, but it's on my mind. As one who has heard the words "emotionally unavailable" a few times too many, I can vouch for all those in singledom: it's tricky.

At my age, my dear sister was married and had three kids, and I struggle to keep a basil plant alive - let alone a relationship. Learn from my wisdom and hugely successful dating history (yep, my last name is still Swan) on what NOT to do in relationships:

1. The Curtis* Rule

Don't break up with a boy in a graveyard.  

Yes, Love is a Battlefield. But the irony is a bit much, n'est ce pas?

2. The Nathan Rule

Don't date boys who've kissed more girls than you own shoes.  

And I mean shoes, not pairs. Go take a shoe inventory, and if his number is even close, you need to ditch the guy--or hit up Aldo.

3. The Nick Rule

Don't move across the country to marry a boy, and then change your mind. 

Not that girls can be fickle or anything. . . 

4. The Dennis Rule

Don't play Super Mario Bros late at night.

No matter how close you are to beating Bowser. The princess will understand.

5. The Andrew Rule

Don't curse at the boy who comes out to run mile 25 of the marathon with you.

Running that one mile in jeans was probably as uncomfortable as the 26 you ran in spandex. Don't take out your runner's grumpiness on the poor guy. 

6. The Holden Rule 

Don't date a boy who is probably more interested in your roommate than you.

But if you do, think of the plus side: at least he doesn't have to remember a new address for his next date, right?   

7. The Caleb Rule

Don't kiss a boy the day before you flee the country.

He just might show up at your casa with a matching stamp in his passport.

8. The Neil Rule

For missionaries: don't do the fade-away 'Dear John' tactic.

Trust me ladies, your missionary attire makes those 18 months awkward enough without a boy to add to it.

9. The Richard Rule

Don't count on ecclesiastical leaders to set you up.

He may be a great stake president, but he sure has weird taste.

10. The Levi Rule

If he doesn't want to go on the Drop of Doom--please--don't make him.

-----------

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Good Vibrations and Bad Stereotypes

I get a kick out of those "What I actually do" memes (or at least I did until they started making them for rabbis and alumni relations professionals, then I was a little less enthused).

So this weekend when I was in sunny California for a friend's wedding, I started thinking about east- vs. west-coast perceptions. My whopping 2 1/2 years living east of the Mississippi has nurtured me into a self-proclaimed-but-not-actual East Coaster, but I really fall somewhere in between. [side note: the wedding was beautiful, the bride was stunning, and the beach-side rehearsal dinner was delicious. But I'm trying hard to hedge any emotion behind the frankness of this blog, so I'll spare the gooey details]

East-Coast Stereotypes

West-Coast Stereotypes

 

My conclusion is there are smart people and lazy people on both coasts. The difference is on the east coast, you are expected to be overwhelmed and wish each day had 26 hours. I had a friend in college who worked at a Utah branch of a New York bank. He had the same responsibilities as the east-coasters and yielded the same results, but worked a fraction of the hours. Why? Because on the east coast, we feel the need to be frantically important, and slightly off-balance*. That's the difference, folks. At the end of the day, we're all still stuck in traffic.

Some chilled-out pictures from the weekend:

Mini Belize Reunion at Brenna's wedding :)



Dancin' on the edge of the Hollywood Sign



Hollywood Blvd with my college roommies

---------

*I know there are plenty of people who don't fit this mold, but for generalization's sake, let's go with it  

The Hunt for Red [Blog Followers]

I have more blog views from Russia than from Canada. Really? More Russian scientists are following this than my own family? (Maybe they'll have some good tips for my trip to Russia next month  - or maybe they are cracking codes embedded in my post '24 things I did when I was 24' to bring down NASA. Plausible.)

It'll be an interesting time to show up at this party: Putin began his third presidential term May 7, and there's been some "excitement" about it in Moscow.  And the adventure's already begun - before my Russian visa, I'd never been asked if I had "any special skills, training or experience related to fire-arms and explosives or to nuclear matters, biological or chemical substances."

Luckily, they didn't ask me about my 'special skill' of raiding the clearance section at Target nor my 'experience' stealing ideas from Pinterest . . . I may have been in trouble.

18 sleeps til Russia!

The Two Littlest States*

To us 'big'-staters, New England is the place of  IV League schools, lobsters, and a whole lotta BLUE. When I ripped open my mission call to serve in the New Hampshire Manchester mission, I was scared to death of the prospect of teaching IV-League blue lobsters about a culturally western church. But as I spent 18 months working my tail off and serving the people, I developed a love an obsession for all things New England.

Two years later, I'm back in this blessed region. I've been working in CT the last 3 months and decided to stay for a weekend to learn a thing or two about a state or two. From the clam cakes to the sailboats, I must say I'm a big fan of these little states.

Some useless Rhode Island trivia (and a couple pictures):

• Ironically, it has the longest name of any state
• The Great Wall of China could wrap around RI 32 times. (You better believe I did that math)
• Home of the Tennis Hall of Fame
• Also home to Matthew Perry, but probably not the one you're thinking of

Cliff walking in Newport

Taking Wheat Thins surfing to new heights

Newport cares: we actually saw 4/20 Kony protestors in this itty bitty state

The famous Awful Awful milkshake. The cup says it all

And onto Connecticut,

• Called the Nutmeg State (personal significance)
• Home of the PEZ factory--all those chalky, rock-hard sweets you ate as a child came from CT
• Yale has had an alumnus in every presidential or vice-presidential race since 1972, including former Presidents Clinton and Bush.
• People in New Haven are so smart that they even made up their own style of pizza

We like the beach in Darien

$1 roller blades, and the mouse droppings are free

New Haven-style margarita and clam pizza, delish

 ---------------

*Fact check: Delaware is actually smaller than Connecticut, but "The Littlest and Third Littlest States" didn't have a good ring.

Family Values

Let's face it--the Swan family is just not that affectionate. It's rare to get a call on your birthday and common to find out that your sister is pregnant from Facebook. The last time we spent Christmas together was 1998. Each year, you get one gift that covers your birthday and Christmas because frankly, Dad can't remember either one.

But there is one day each year that the family will actually remember and celebrate together: Star Wars Day.     

Get your inhaler and LARPing gear ready, because you are about to be out-nerded by this Swan family email thread:

From: Jared

Subject: Happy Star Wars Day!

May 4, 2012 12:14 PM

May the 4th be with you......always

Darrell

May 4, 2012 1:08 PM

These aren’t the droids your looking for

Natalie

May 4, 2012 1:23 PM

I can't shake 'em!......

Stay on target....

Dad

May 4, 2012 1:50 PM

Guess who:

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side. 

Jared

May 4, 2012 2:47 PM

You gotta have something harder than Han

how about this one...

This station is the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it

Darrell

May 4, 2012 2:48 PM

That's captain needa right before he gets choked.

Matt

May 4, 2012 3:08 PM

Dad

May 4, 2012 3:20 PM

So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time.

Meg

May 4, 2012 2:35 PM

Matt....that is your father.

Darrell

May 4, 2012 3:36 PM

Ya matt….. trying to act like he’s not one of us….. pft…….

Jared

May 4, 2012 3:41 PM

It is your density Matt!!*

Matt

May 4, 2012 6:50 PM

We really do love each other; we just show it in different ways. May the Fourth be with you . . . alwayth!

------------------

* If you caught the Back to the Future reference, welcome to the family.