Now Seeking:
Risky blog topic, but it's on my mind. As one who has heard the words "emotionally unavailable" a few times too many, I can vouch for all those in singledom: it's tricky.
At my age, my dear sister was married and had three kids, and I struggle to keep a basil plant alive - let alone a relationship. Learn from my wisdom and hugely successful dating history (yep, my last name is still Swan) on what NOT to do in relationships:
Risky blog topic, but it's on my mind. As one who has heard the words "emotionally unavailable" a few times too many, I can vouch for all those in singledom: it's tricky.
At my age, my dear sister was married and had three kids, and I struggle to keep a basil plant alive - let alone a relationship. Learn from my wisdom and hugely successful dating history (yep, my last name is still Swan) on what NOT to do in relationships:
1. The Curtis* Rule
Don't break up with a boy in a graveyard.
Yes, Love is a Battlefield. But the irony is a bit much, n'est ce pas?
2. The Nathan Rule
Don't date boys who've kissed more girls than you own shoes.
And I mean shoes, not pairs. Go take a shoe inventory, and if his number is even close, you need to ditch the guy--or hit up Aldo.
3. The Nick Rule
Don't move across the country to marry a boy, and then change your mind.
Not that girls can be fickle or anything. . .
4. The Dennis Rule
Don't play Super Mario Bros late at night.
No matter how close you are to beating Bowser. The princess will understand.
5. The Andrew Rule
Don't curse at the boy who comes out to run mile 25 of the marathon with you.
Running that one mile in jeans was probably as uncomfortable as the 26 you ran in spandex. Don't take out your runner's grumpiness on the poor guy.
6. The Holden Rule
Don't date a boy who is probably more interested in your roommate than you.
But if you do, think of the plus side: at least he doesn't have to remember a new address for his next date, right?
7. The Caleb Rule
Don't kiss a boy the day before you flee the country.
He just might show up at your casa with a matching stamp in his passport.
8. The Neil Rule
For missionaries: don't do the fade-away 'Dear John' tactic.
Trust me ladies, your missionary attire makes those 18 months awkward enough without a boy to add to it.
9. The Richard Rule
Don't count on ecclesiastical leaders to set you up.
He may be a great stake president, but he sure has weird taste.
10. The Levi Rule
If he doesn't want to go on the Drop of Doom--please--don't make him.
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*Names have been changed to protect the innocent
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